That morning, she woke up and looked in the mirror to see a person that she felt could be so pretty, if she only had beautiful, long eyelashes to line her eyelids and eyebrows to define the empty space between her eyes and her forehead. Long locks of hair rest on her shoulders but are overshadowed by the large bald patches on her crown.
The difference in appearance may be accepted by others, but the inner pain and frustration of knowing that she did this to herself the night before, brings tears to her bald eyes. Why would she do this to herself? Why couldn't she fight the urge? What about the soap opera part she had worked so hard to be cast in? Now that she had the part, how could she go to the studio like this? If she wore a wig, she would have to tell the producer and the make up team, and how could she explain why she needed to wear a wig all of a sudden? What if they asked her to take it off? They would see her real hair and all of the baldness around the crown.
After every thing she had worked so hard to secure, she had to find a way to cancel her performance so that she didn't have to explain her situation. Who would understand why she pulls out her own hair? No one would understand it, and if she explained that she had Trichotillomania, they may think she is a risk to cast in any upcoming projects due to the unforeseen future episodes of pulling and resulting baldness.
She places a call to the studio to let them know that her mother has suddenly become ill and she must travel across the country to visit her, therefore, she will not be available to film the part she was cast in. Tears roll down her face as she hangs up the phone. After all of the frustration and anger she feels toward herself, she now has to lie on top of it.
Months pass and her hair has begun to grow in. Her eyelashes are short and stubby, but they are there, and her eyebrows are coming in nicely. Her hair is still very short around her crown, but it is growing in and becoming less and less obvious as each week passes.
Her frustration and anger toward herself have faded, and she is ready again to follow her dreams of being an actress. She is stronger this time and her self esteem is no longer fragile. She is a rock, and nothing can make her pull again.
The auditions begin and she is awarded a film role that will change the direction of her career forever. Filming begins in the fall. After months of being pull free, she has another episode of pulling. Again, her head is bald and there is no time for it to grow back in prior to production commencing. Again, she is faced with the shame and embarrassment of canceling her appearance or facing the questions, judgment and labeling if she explains herself, which is just too much for her to bear. No one would hire her if they knew. Her dreams, once again, would have to be put on hold.
The cycle has repeated itself and continues to repeat itself over and over again. The emotional rollercoaster is running and cannot stop. The sufferer experiences great highs, only to pull again and feel lower than ever. Then it's back to flying high until another episode of pulling emerges.
There is no known medical cure for those who suffer from Trichotillomania. However, there are many people who have become pull free and continue to be pull free today.
What if those who suffer from hair pulling changed their perspective? What if hair pulling and baldness was normal and/or accepted? What if being bald was beautiful? Can you imagine the potential of a person with the spirit and determination of a person with Trichotillomania, who was free of the negative feelings involved with pulling and the resulting baldness? A true, compassionate leader in our universe would emerge and change the lives of many.
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